parenting

What You Must Consider Before a Divorce

What You Must Consider Before a Divorce

Having a divorce is a difficult situation, but it can also relieve you from a failing marriage. However, things might get more complicated if you and your spouse already have a kid or children. Their custody and support will take years for the court to decide. And meanwhile, you are still stuck with the past you are trying to leave behind.

But with proper preparation, you can get through a divorce with the least trouble. Here are the tips for you.

Help Yourself First

You do have heard flight attendants say when the oxygen mask drops down from the ceiling, put it on yourself before you help anyone else. Well, the same principle work in other situations, including a divorce. You cannot help others if you are still in bad shape.

Law to Protect Family

If you feel like you are psychologically wounded, do not pretend that you are strong enough to handle it alone. Consult a psychologist to seek help. Get closer to your friends and family to find support. They can be the best reminder for you that you are never truly alone in this world. But also bear in mind that you do not need to be around judgemental people. Avoid one immediately once you spot them.

 

Divert your sadness and stress to exercise and self-care. Participating in a yoga group or joining a gym bring you closer to other people. There is so much in life than your marriage. And in fact, monogamous relationship for life has been even deemed unnatural by some experts. Books about the sexual revolution, such as Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Society discusses how divorce and separation is an indirect result of our outrageous sexual conduct. Historically, polygyny and polyandry were common. And even up till now, only a few of married couple can keep their, “Til death do us apart,” promise.

Give Him/Her Space

Considering about the CustodyBefore filing for a divorce, it is better to live separately first to see how things work. But be responsible with your kids. Try to talk reason with your spouse before you and him/her deciding for a hiatus. Do not let your ego ruins your kid’s childhood. Make sure that your spouse is aware of it too.

Living separately from each other will give both of you time to see all the things clearer than before. Use the time to consult with family and friends. Try to assess what has gone wrong in the marriage.

This step does not mean that you must discourage yourself from taking a firm decision for divorce. We do realize that some things cannot be fixed and separation might be the best solution in some contexts. But bugging your head with the trouble all the time will not give you any good result. It is like taking a deep breath before facing the upcoming storm.

Start Thinking about Your Children

Being Responsible to the KidIf it is possible, talking about the kid’s custody is best to do earlier than the divorce. It gives a good example to your kids that even when a separation is inevitable, you and your spouse, as parents, can resolve the trouble as adults. You still show that you are still responsible and rational about your kid’s future. Never neglect them, unless you want to raise a kid with personality problems.

Divorce can be traumatic to children, and you must take that matter seriously. Do not be ashamed of the problem and find a family consultant to help your kid to cope up with your family divorce.…

How to be a great parent

How to be a great parent

Being a parent is considered as one of the most rewarding experience. No matter you have a girl or a boy, a teenager or adult you are always supposed to be in touch with them. Of course at your older age your child will take care of you but being a nice parent gives you a responsibility of teaching nurturing and loving them since their birth. Apart from their effort for being a responsible adult in the society it needs your cooperation as well. A parent teaches the difference between right and wrong, make the child feel valued and loved, and give supports when they are striving to fulfill their dream. For a new parent, here are few suggestions. Go through them and try to bring these in your daily life:

Love

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Give them hug and kisses, celebrate their achievement, spend joyful time with them, laugh with them, play with them, clean them and make them look cute and beautiful.If they are adults then make them realize that you love them unconditionally, if they are very successful in their life you love them and if they are unsuccessful you still love them. Love is a thing which binds a tight bond between parents and children and ultimately make them stronger.

Be a role model

Your mother is the first teacher of your life. As you grow you learn the basics of life from your parent. Being a role model is the best way to mould a child’s character. If you are an uneducated businessmen you cannot be Einstein and teach how to be an intelligent fellow in your class. But you can follow Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela etc. to impart values like honesty, hard work, truthfulness to your child.

Meaningful competition

If your child comes second in class then make them compete with the first, because It makes sense, but if you compare your child with your sibling or your neighbor’s child it doesn’t makes sense. Your child may not be mature enough to know the reason why he is not like his neighbor’s child. Also offensive statements like ‘ why are you not like John’ can put him or her into depression.

Do not be an over strict parent

Being an over strict parent can also cause depression. Everybody needs love and for a child home is a place where he or she get love. If you are over strict then obviously you will reduce the love portion which is not healthy.

Do not sink them in love

Why is scolding and sometimes being rude necessary? If you never scold your child then he will never realize the importance and meaning of many things. Sometimes it is a must to scold or to give punishment as such things remains in their mind for a longer time.

Listen to your kids

Listening to your kids make them feel more valuable and it also removes any complex thoughts and misunderstanding between you and him.

Spend time with them

Spend time with your kids, love them, play with them, discuss your daily life with them and also teach them the ups and down of life. There is no substitute for this. If you never spend time with your kid then one day he or she will become distant. At those times you cannot revisit the past and change the things you did, you will only regret everything.

Improve the social skill

hfcgfhcgfcgfcghcgchThere are certain aspects of life which take a long time to understand especially if you are learning them on your own. So share your wisdom, knowledge and experiences with your kid. Make him or her understand things about tolerance, patience, wisdom and their importance. Explain to them about the human thoughts, hidden tricks and tactics which they will use.…